Happy Halloween!

Ho-yay, it’s halloween time! If you’re brave enough, click the “more” link to see the scariest ghoul on the planet…

Oh, She’s A Gold-Digger Way Over Town Who Digs On Me

Oh my god, Heather Mills. You awful, awful woman. This is the soon-to-be-ex-wife of Paul McCartney, aka One Of Only Two Remaining Living Beatles. The title of Living Beatle is important, you see, because the Beatles are the most important band to ever exist. Ah, ah, ah, no arguing: I wrote a 240+ page paper about this. I know.

Paul used to be married to Linda, whom he spent only a single night apart from (when he was arrested in Japan for marijuana posession… a lot of marijuana possession), who died in 1994 from cancer. Linda was a lovely, amazing woman and there was absolutely no doubt that Paul’s love for her and relationship with her was very, very real (*cough*Yoko*cough*… oh, that’s not fair, I just hate her…). So it was all kind of surprising when he up and married Heather Mills, a former glamour (read: topless, nude or scantily clad) model, amputee, and sometimes activist, in 2002. Many, myself included, were very suspicious of this marriage, as Paul has a lot of money and Heather does not. Even his children — Mary and Stella in particular — were suspicious of the interloper, and very cold to her up to their wedding and beyond. They had a daughter, a cutie named Beatrice, and then in 2006 announced their separation. McCartney fans (and, one would imagine, some of his family members) rejoiced. Then they started divorce proceedings and things turned ugly. Very ugly.

Over what? Money, of course. Paul has buckets and buckets of it, as you might expect considering the Beatle thing and the Solo Career thing and the International Superstar Who Has Been Knighted thing. Heather, like most young women who marry rich, became “accustomed” to a certain kind of extravagent lifestyle (read: extra fancy fake legs) for both herself and her daughter, and wanted a couple of those money buckets. Paul balked; there was no prenup, because Paul is a genuine man who was genuinely in love with Linda and never had a prenup with her, and who just assumed that his next wife would be as genuine and good as his first (Linda was not a saint, let’s be clear, but that was a 30-year relationship that never once smacked of any kind of artifice). They’ve been fighting dirty over his money ever since.

Today the Daily Mail has an interview with Heather lashing out against just about everyone who has come in contact with or spoken about her in the past year and half. Heather’s refusal to accept any sort of divorce settlement (which have been in the range of $100+ MILLION dollars) has convinced Paul’s fans (and the general international population) that the entire marriage was a gold digging scheme, and her deterimantion to spin her celeb-ex-wife status into a lucrative celebrity career isn’t helping her any. Neither is anything that is coming out of her mouth, as these priceless quotes from the Mail prove:

In a tearful TV tirade, she said she had legal debts of £1.5 million and also said she had “a box of evidence that is going to a certain person if anything happens to me”.

Ms Mills said she had been “pushed to the edge” by media harassment, claiming “18 months of abuse, 4,400 abusive articles”.

“I considered killing myself because I thought if I am dead, she [my daughter] can be safe with her father.”

She said she had been “offered nothing” in her divorce case, but she was unable to discuss it for legal reasons.

“These figures are made up, £100 million, £50 million, £20 million. How do you know if I even want any money? I am £1.5 million in debt in lawyers’ fees. That’s as much as I can say or I go to jail, for telling the truth.”

“So I’m gagged at the moment because I’m not allowed to say a word while the media are fed this spin by certain corner.”

“There needs to be responsible journalism. They are pushing people over the edge.”

“They make up such lies,” she said, becoming tearful.

“They’ve called me a whore, a gold digger, a fantasist, a liar, the most unbelievably hurtful things, and I’ve stayed quiet for my daughter.”

She also draws comparisons between herself and Princess Diana, herself and Kate McCann (mother of Madeleine McCann), and her situation and that of the Hillsborough football disaster of 1989.

With all the bitching and moaning the slag is doing, I thought I’d take her at her own word.

1. If you’re so far in debt, maybe you should have taken a divorce settlement by now. We all know they’ve been offered, and if this situation is causing so much distress, just take some money (it’s going to be a huge sum of money, no matter how you cut it) and go away already! Take your daughter somewhere you feel safe, and live in a mansion out of the public eye. We won’t miss you.

2. Are you seriously counting all the press about you? Get a life. I repeat: if this is causing so much pain, then SETTLE YOUR DIVORCE.

3. You and Paul are both under gag order, though you seem to be the only one talking about anything. Paul has commented to the absolute minimum about this divorce, most of the time simply reiterating that he is under a gag order and cannot say anything about you or the divorce proceedings. He has even slightly defended you a couple of times. That is how you handle yourself with grace and class, in case you needed an example. Also: No one is spinning this story except for you. You married one of the most beloved men in the entire world. 40+ years of international Beatles obsession (a fanatical love that exploded in 1964 and never died) is going to be far more influential than 4 or so years of seeing your face associated, unhappily, with a man we all adore. The combination of your insistance about running your mouth and the overwhelming love for Paul means you are never going to win a public relations battle. So take a settlement, and go away.

4. The media has called you “a whore, a golddigger, a fantasist, [and] a liar” because you have not proven yourself to be anything else. Every moment of your marriage, and every moment of your separation and divorce has shown that your concern for your lifestyle, your fortune, and the future riches of your daughter (as a McCartney blood relative) overrides just about everything else in your life. Oh, except your fame. You love your fame. So that’s not bad reporting; that accurate. Want them to stop? Take a settlement, and go away. What, exactly, do you think you’re entitled to? It’s not like you provided 30 years of faithful spousal service. You didn’t even hit 5 years. Take a settlement, and go away.

6. You’re not Princess Diana. This is not the Hillsborough Disaster. You might, however, be Kate McCann. Kate McCann might have been complicit in her daughter’s kidnapping… I could buy that you are that kind of detestable. But, darling, you are so far away from Princess Diana that the words that came out of your mouth comparing yourself to her literally turned my stomach. Believe me, if you died in a car crash no one would be remembering your death 10 years later. They probably wouldn’t remember 10 days later. And the Hillsborough Disaster was a catastrophe that killed 96 people. Overblown media reportage or not, your DIVORCE FROM PAUL MCCARTNEY is so very far away from that kind of tragedy that I question your moral compass in even thinking to compare one to the other.

In conclusion: Take a Divorce Settlement and GO AWAY. We’re all sick of you.

–Sara Tenenbaum

Oompa Loompa Lindsay

I couldn’t help it. The minute I saw this picture I exclaimed (to my empty apartment): Oh my god, she’s fucking tangerine!

Stop. With. The. Mystic. Folks. Before. Willy. Wonka. Comes. To. Take. You. Away.

–Sara Tenenbaum

California’s Burning

Maybe it’s because I’ve spent the last two days at concerts, and haven’t been home very much. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been driving that much and haven’t been listening to the radio. Or maybe it’s just because California seems to catch fire at least once a year. Either way, I haven’t been paying much attention to the fires in Southern California until this morning, when I started seeing pictures.

This is what Malibu looks like normally:

This is what Malibu looks like right now:

According to the LA Times, over 1 million people have been displaced by over 1 billion dollars worth of damage.

Spoon and The Shins at Merriweather Post Pavillion (10/22)

It was an afternoon, then a night, then a sleep, then a sore, but goddamn if last night’s show at Merriweather Post Pavillion wasn’t amazing. (click the link! There’s lots of details and some pictures!)

Sorry to be AWOL

Sorry, folks. Work had an internet outage on Thursday and Friday (oh god, what awful days those were…) and I had an incredibly busy weekend. Updates will resume shortly.

–Sara Tenenbaum

Everybody Loves Blogs

Today, PC Magazine named its 100 Favorite Blogs, a list that is obviously subjective, and far from exhaustive or official. However, in perusing through it I was delighted to see a number of blogs I’ve been faithfully reading for years on the list. It’s always nice to have your tastes validated, and it’s always nice to be recognized, so here are the blogs that I’ve been loving on for ages that PC Magazine has finally gone and wised up to:

Aurgasm: I found out about this little music blog in 2005 when a girl I studied abroad with told me I would like it (her friend runs it… tell him congrats, Heather!). I did, and it was amazing — not your typical music blog, it explores every single niche genre in an effort to give you as much variety and choice as possible (and it has tons of mp3 links!). PC Magazine agreed: “Some music blogs just talk about music. Aurgasm lets you experience it.”

DListed: Michael K is the snarkiest, most sarcastic, nastiest celeb blogger out there (the number of people and things that have been likened to the smell of his ass sweat are… well, numerous. Ugh, gross. Love it.) So why do we all go back faithfully? Because he’s also the best. Way funnier, and more discerning, than Perez could ever hope to be.

Go Fug Yourself Heather and Jessica both used to (and I think, partially, still do) write for Television Without Pity, aka The Best TV Website Known To Mankind (it’s not a blog, therefore not eligible for PC Mag’s list), which is probably why they’re so damn funny. They’ve also got a great eye for fashion, which is why they’ve graduated from simply snarking at badly dressed celebrities (and pseudo-celebs… I’m talking to you, Bai Ling) to covering Fashion Week twice a year for New York Magazine. I can’t go a day (or even three hours) without checking for new posts.

Oh No They Didn’t! Essentially, there are two places people go for catch-all, quantity over quality celebrity gossip: PerezHilton.com or ONTD. ONTD is a livejournal community, moderated, where any and all celebrity gossip can be posted by thousands upon thousands upon thousands of members. In the amount of time it takes to read the front page, almost a dozen stories can have been posted. It’s easy to spend hours just pressing “Refresh” over and over again, filling your work-numbed brain with endless streams of gossip about people you probably have never even heard of before (and a lot that you have). It is simply the best, and if I had to go without I wouldn’t want to live (or, at least, work).

Stereogum I remember when this blog was a simple creature run by Scott Stereogum, who worked at VH1 in some capacity, had something to do with Best Week Ever, and was about to get married to Eliza, now his lovely wife. That was something like 4 or 5 years ago, when I had just started college and I needed an indie rock hookup. Today, Stereogum is one of the most respected music blogs on the internet, with a staff and other writers and I think even interns at this point (fancy, Scott, fancy). It’s still the best place to go for anything indie, and I’m proud to have stuck with it for so long.

TV In Japan Around 3 p.m., when your energy is low, Robert Goulet appears to mess with your stuff. If you’re like me, however, you’re looking at TV In Japan and laughing way too hard for anyone to mess with anything. Thank god for the Japanese.

To all these blogs and their owners/posters/members: I read you every day. You alleviate my crushing boredom. Thanks!! Thanks a lot! It’s about time you got some recognition!

–Sara Tenenbaum

P.S. — Read the whole list, it’s got lots of good sites I haven’t seen before!

It’s a good day to be Al Gore

If you’re one of the 3 people who haven’t heard by now, the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded jointly today to former Vice President Al Gore and the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change for their work on educating the public about and working to stop climate change and global warming.

Is anyone else having problems getting to Radiohead?

I’m at work, so I can’t download the album now, but I’m having issues even getting InRainbows.com to connect for me. Is this because of all the traffic it must be getting? Is this going to be a problem when I get home?? Also, I need to order that $80 box set, like, right now.

If anyone can offer insight, that would be great.

This is kind of like dressing up as Nicole Richie…

Ha! Michael K over at DListed brings us this awesome halloween costume being sold at 3Wishes.com. This skin-tight skeleton costume goes by the name Anna Rexia.

While I’m sure some people who have, or whose family have, suffered from an eating disorder will be all up in arms, ranting about “pro-ana” bad influences and all the like, I prefer to laugh. It’s funny! With all the young celebrities, blah, blah, blah you’ve heard it all before. More ironic than this? The costume comes in plus size! It’s, like, thinspiration you can wear.

–Sara Tenenbaum