LiveBlogging the Emmys

The fashion portion is done, the channel has changed from E! to FOX, the Emmy are about ready to start, and I have chinese food on the way. Perfect. Let the LiveBlogging begin.

8:00: Oooh, Family Guy opening. I like that. They’ve done this song for FG before, but Seth McFarlane’s a great satarist.

8:03: The jokes were good. The Sopranos joke was great. And the post-song Stephen Colbert/Jon Stewart moment of love was fantastic. This is a good start, that Ryan Seacrest is about to ruin.

8:04: Host homage. BORING! C’mon, Seacrest, no one likes sincerity.

8:08: Do. Not. Sing. Oh, thank god.

8:10: That was wierd; the cut in the middle of Ray Romano’s joke about Fraiser to the dead camera. I bet it was a wayward elbow. Also, isn’t he presenting something? Are we making up for Seacrest’s lack of hosting talent with extended presenter stand up comedy segments? That’s not ok, FOX.

8:15: Here we go, Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series. And the winner is… Jeremy Piven? He’s great and all, but Rainn Wilson was kinda sorta really robbed. Ah well. Jeremy is both humble and quite charming, and I’m not so much mad that he won than I am disappointed that Rainn didn’t.

8:17: Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series… I’m HUGELY invested in that. C’mon Lost, c’mon Lost… The winner is… YES!!! TERRY O’QUINN!!! I think he is just BRILLIANT and this is ROUNDLY deserved!!!

8:22: I’m going to use this commercial break to say that the Emmys can do just about anything they want from here on out and I will be satisfied. The fact that the voters eventually came to the conclusion that Locke deserved that Emmy restores my faith in those who voted. Both Michael Emerson and Terry O’Quinn got a lot of phenomenal material last season on Lost, and they both did an exceptional job with what they were given. Either was extremely deserving of the award, and I’m glad one of them was recognized. And O’Quinn’s Desperate Housewives joke was pretty good, too.

8:26: Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series. Tina Fey and Julia Louis-Dryefus are funny too, btw. Oh, Jamie Presley won! She’s super funny on My Name Is Earl (a show my parents ADORE). Awww, she’s all choked up and sincere and cute. I’m happy about this, really I am. Although, I have to say… The Office is 0 for 2 so far…

8:20: Katherine Heigel is pretty. I only barely remember who Thomas Hayden Church is. I never saw a single thing nominated in that category. Oh look, commercial.

8:36: I don’t know how much of that was improvised, or just well-delivered, but that Ellen thing was funny. And this montage isn’t so bad, mostly because of the preponderance of Colbert Report and Daily Show clips.

8:38: Even the ugly Entourage boys are cute and charming. Adrien Grenier, mmm. Best Supporting Actress, Drama… Katherine Heigel! I like her, but not for her TV work. I’ll give her a hearty “yay” nevertheless; she’s a talented young woman.

8:42: Katherine Heigel was absolutely adorable. Best Writing, Variety, Music, etc. These little thingies are (mostly) funny. I liked Conan’s a lot. The Emmy goes to… Conan. Cool. Conan’s head is enormous. It’s so enormous, the White Stripes made it a part of a music video. Seriously, it’s huge. And I know, that joke is old, but this isn’t a joke, this is me just thinking about how goddamn big his head is. Christina Aguilera is performing next. The real question is, will she admit she is pregnant before the baby is born? Before it turns 18? No one knows.

8:51: Christina Aguilera looks beautiful in that pink dress and NUDE LIPS. Thank god. I also see definite baby bump, but that dress does a fairly good job of minimizing it. She did not interviews, no red carpet aside from pictures, and is clearly not saying anything now. I kind of admire that degree of firmness. Performance is pretty perfunctory, but Tony Bennett is old.

9:12: Robert Duvall is seriously making me uncomfortable. That’s twice now. Why don’t the people around him stop him from talking? I know he’s old, but maybe when you’re old you should let someone else do the acceptance speeches.

9:13: Hayden Panettierre (or however you spell it) looks like an ugly upside-down cupcake. Oh, Creative Arts Emmys.

9:15: By the way, peeps, I’m about 2 minutes off the live broadcast as I DVRed the show and am playing with avoiding commercials. Lost loses a directing award, boo! Sopranos win, eh. Hayen Pantyairs (thanks, Michael K) is gone, yay! Pointy jokes are funny, especially involving kids or cats.

9:18 The Sopranos dominate the nominations, but Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindloff deserve the writing award. They don’t get it. I’m a little ticked now.

9:23: Heh. Steve Carrell and the rest of The Office is funny. Oooh, Best Variety, Musical or Comedy Show. I say the Daily Show should keep its streak alive. And it does! Oh yay, go Daily Show! I truly believe that the only people left in America who can see clearly are on this show. Thank you, Jon Stewart and pals, for keeping me, and a lot of other rational Americans, insane. Poor Stephen Colbert… Stewart is blockin’ the aisle every time.

9:37: Mary Louise Parker no longer looks amused. I wonder if she’s tired of people making jokes about how little a “role model” her character is. I think it’s sad that, while we’re finally recognizing more and more women being given strong, central characters on tv, we still require them to be “role model” characters. Tony Soprano is not a role model. Not a single male lead on Lost or 24 or Heroes is a role model. The most interesting characters, especially on television, tend to be the ones that are most definitly not role models. Nancy is a really, really interesting character, and Mary Louise Parker plays her perfectly. Oh and that Western won again. Did anyone really watch that?

9:40: These guys sound like Alvin and the Chipmunks in real life. They’re clearly singing live, but the addition of the background track, and maybe something done to the microphone?, make them sound like they’ve inhaled helium. It’s really bizarre.

9:41: I hope, off in the darkness of the auditorium, the singer was gazing so passionately at Tom Sellick.

9:45:This is a lot of applause. Enough applause to trigger a commercial break! Wow. Probably so that the producers can make an announcement to quiet people down. Wow.

10:05: This is like looking directly at the TV Academy’s giant nerd boner. And Masa Oki is one of my favorites.

10:18: Oh yay, The Office wins something. Good.

10:32: That was actually pretty funny, and the first time Kanye has ever said anything about never winning that didn’t come off as totally pompous. Rainn Wilson’s hilarious. I’m so sick of Project Runway not winning this award. Even the crowd was louder for them. Boo, boo, boo.

10:41: Unsurprisingly, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert usher in the nights most genuinely fun and funny moment by “giving” Steve Carell an Emmy because Ricky Gervais isn’t there to pick up his award. Much jumping and yelling and running ensues. Marry me, Jon.

10:43: They just cut out part of Sally Field’s speech by cutting to that wierd silent camera when she was talking about the war. Maybe Ray Romano said something offensive earlier and that wasn’t just a mistake? That is wierd and creepy — I would be really upset to find out that FOX is somehow censoring these awards. I hope someone who was there will transcribe that little comment later tonight.

10:53: I totally thought America Ferrera had already won an Emmy! Was that a Golden Globe? She won something, I swear she won something. I think she’s very talented, and Ugly Betty is good (I just don’t watch it regularly). And that color is stunning on her.

10:55: I think Kate Walsh is a little drunk. Go Kiefer. Oh, James Spader! You were great in Secretary. Aww, he looks so nerdy! Good for him.

10:57: “I’ll tell you, I’ve been to thousands and thousands of concerts in my life and these are the worst seats I’ve ever had.” Heh.

11:03: Of course we’re over time. 30 Rock wins Comedy Series. Word, Tina Fey.

11:08: Of course The Sopranos wins. That was a landmark, and excellent, television show. Congratulations all around, especially to David Chase who looks happy and sad and bewildered all at the same time. Bravo. I wonder if — Oh wait, there he goes. Well, this was a wonderful night as far as Emmys go… The Office was shut out (boo), the show was pretty funny (yay), and Terry O’Quinn won an Emmy (double yay!) I’m out.

–Sara Tenenbaum